I keep thinking about how someone can be perfactly kind to you, and yet you still don't like them. There's a patron that frequents my workplace that is very well mannered but for some reason I simply do not like him. Or well I guess, for no reason. And I'm perfectly aware that this is entirely normal. But I think about it a lot, especially in regards to how people online (mostly tumblr) behave.
People online behave and even believe as if your likes and dislikes correlate 1:1 with your core personality and morals and ethics. And that just silly. I am free to dislike this man as long as I continue to treat him kindly. I can dislike some perfectly good book or podcast or whatever simply because it doesn't appeal to me. I don't need to seek validation from my tumblr overlords.
And I kind of think that this is how that got started. People would make posts validating or apologizing for liking or disliking something that they "shouldn't" and other users loved being the arbiter of good and evil. the judge and jury, all on a blogging website known for anonmynity. And of course, that prompted posts telling people what they can and can't like, which prompted more poeople (usually kids) to seek validation. A nasty cycle, that can be stopped by simply keeping your mouth shut around people who want to keep a judge list of all your good and bad deeds like some sort of social santa, ready to dole out praise and punishment. In this age of the internet, the ability to keep your mouth shut is a skill that few are practicing. Everyone needs to share how they feel on every major event or minor event, every celebrity dispute. Even on every game or show release, and every bit of insular drama.
And of course, this means that everything ever, from drama to shows to politics, has to be boiled down to a final GOOD or BAD, with no room for nuance. Nuance is the killer of the outrage. Nuance invites thinking, and invites keeping quiet whnayou don't understand what is going on. Not everything has the emotional depth of a children's cartoon, and unfortunatley many of those online today wish to make that so, to the best of their abilities.
I don't have a good way to end this. Just. Your likes and dislikes in your head are always private. No one can force you to present every facet of yourself for an internet judge. Expecially not a blogger who's entire claim to fame is being popular on tumblr.